These are the stories of my divorce, healing, the boundaries I've built, and my happiness...
I am the survivor of several abusive relationships that date back to my childhood, including my 21 yr marriage. This is the fifth blog I've started over the years. Most of them were private blog(s) as I was afraid of retaliation should Ex read what I wrote. I tried a humorous public blog about my life and Ex asked me to stop and I did. My venom was creeping out via sarcasm and he didn't like it. Each time I went away from blogging for a while but my need to put down in words, publicly, what happened to me (and my kids) kept pulling me back. I'm healing. The caveat really started out as a note that I started writing and publishing many of the early posts privately within seven months before I filed for divorce, and many of them much older than that, needing to journal what happened to me. I tried to remember to mention it in the post. If I forgot to change a 'last night' to a 'while back', bear with me. I had a lot to say. My divorce was final as of 6/3/13, and I posted publicly with a pseudonym here to protect my children and myself from retaliation. At some point, I might show this blog to my children so they know my true story. And theirs. When they're older. Probably not. I can't see how it will serve them. I have started creeping into revealing myself a bit more on social media sites that I like. I've decided to come out of the closet a little, as it were, and see what happens. Bit by bit I am braver and braver. Thank you for reading.
Thank you to all of the wonderful people throughout the years who have been kind and patient with me as I have navigated my self toward this independence. To the rediscovery of me. Please know that I was navigating an emotional minefield of divorce and the aftereffects of abuse in the best way I know how including anxiety, depression, emotional eating and hypervigilance, and it was/is not my intention to hurt anyone. I burned some bridges and lost some important relationships along the way. My diagnoses have had their way with me, but in no way define me any longer
