Not every man I've dated has abused me. I'd have to say that any long term man I've ever dated has abused me. I've had long distance love affairs and short dating stints with some very kind men. None of them lasted for various reasons.
One of them was so angry at the ex-wife he was still living with that it started to make me wonder how someone so kind to me could be so frighteningly violent when talking about his ex and other women. It was worrisome. It also contributed to my trigger of feeling whorish because we always met in a hotel or hung out in my car. Ick.
One long term love affair was one of the most gentle and adoring men I've ever met, but broke up with me because he didn't feel he could honestly deal with my being poly, which upset me but I could understand completely.
One of them was very sweet but so very insecure, hid me from his family and friends, and only ever wanted to hang out at his house. It was humiliating and he needed so much reassurance from me, that I started to feel like I had another child.
One of them was very courtly and old school: he always opened doors for me and was very respectful in public. It was quite refreshing as this is one of the highest forms of feeling respected for me. My family is from the south. Sue me. It's just that he wanted to talk to me about sex all the time, constantly. He kept sending me pictures of himself and tried to get me to participate in sexting every day. It got annoying and completely made me feel like a whore.
As you can see, I didn't stick around a very long time to continue with the relationships above.
The point is, I can't say with a blanket statement that every man I ever dated abused me.
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