I did some research regarding a restraining order recently, as well as domestic abuse. I put down the information here as it pertains to me in particular, gleaned from this site, so I can refer back to it if I need to.
Please feel free to click the link to see if any of the items pertain to you...there is much more there than I have included here.
This is not by any means all of what domestic violence is, but how it pertains to me and the relationship I am desperately trying to sever.
Abuse and violence are learned behaviors, and as such, can be unlearned. People who are abusive are responsible for their behavior and should be held accountable for their actions by the legal and judicial systems, media, friends, family, co-workers and communities.
Domestic violence entails the use of many types of abuse to obtain power and maintain control over an intimate partner. In many abusive relationships, physical violence may be only one part of the abuse, and may even be rare.
• Fear—It is important that the domestic violence victims’ fears not be minimized. If a victim decides to leave an abusive relationship, safety planning should be conducted.
• Lack of Support—Domestic violence victims often lack support systems.
• Finances—As a result of the abuse, victims are often economically dependent on their abusers. This is particularly true for victims with children. Economic realities often trap victims in violent relationships.
• Children—Even after a separation, abusers continue to use children to maintain power and control over victims and inflict further harm.
• Fear—It is important that the domestic violence victims’ fears not be minimized. If a victim decides to leave an abusive relationship, safety planning should be conducted.
• Lack of Support—Domestic violence victims often lack support systems.
• Finances—As a result of the abuse, victims are often economically dependent on their abusers. This is particularly true for victims with children. Economic realities often trap victims in violent relationships.
• Children—Even after a separation, abusers continue to use children to maintain power and control over victims and inflict further harm.
• Promises of Reform—Abusers often promise the abuse will never happen again, they will seek assistance, and they will change.
• Screen your calls.
• Save and document all contacts, messages, or other incidents involving the abuser.
• Change locks if the abuser has a key.
• Screen your calls.
• Save and document all contacts, messages, or other incidents involving the abuser.
• Change locks if the abuser has a key.
What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence is a range of behaviors used to establish power or exert control by one intimate partner over the other. The range of behaviors can include psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, spiritual, and physical abuse, as well as stalking and threatening behaviors.
Who are abusers?
Like victims, domestic violence abusers come from all backgrounds. However, abusers do share some characteristics in that they tend to justify their abusive behaviors, fail to take responsibility for the abuse and use similar tactics to gain and maintain power and control over their partners.
Abusers typically present a different personality outside of their relationship than they do to their intimate partner, which complicates victims' ability to describe their experience and seek assistance.
Children Exposed to Domestic Violence
Children who witness or are exposed to domestic violence are at greater risk for a number of health and behavioral concerns. They are often present during abuse, and are physically injured as a result of domestic violence. People who abuse their partners are very likely to also abuse children in the home.
Types of Abuse
• Legal abuse – dragging out legal/custody proceedings
• Stalking – calling, harassing, leaving messages, unwanted e-mails and phone calls
• Economic abuse – harassing someone at work
Abuse may occur frequently or infrequently, but in most cases it tends to escalate over time. Without intervention, domestic violence generally increases, and can lead to serious injuries and death.
Barriers to Leaving Victims of domestic violence usually make repeated and sustained efforts to secure safety for themselves and their children, but many face barriers which impede their safety and security:
• Love for Partner or Spouse—Most people enter a relationship for love, and that emotion does not simply disappear easily or in the face of difficulty.
Does your partner:
• Continually criticize you?
• Put you down in front of other people, humiliate you
• Stop you from seeing or talking to friends or family, or limit your outside involvement?
• Make you afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures?
• Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even denies doing it?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be involved in a relationship that is abusive. If there is something about your relationship that scares you, seek help.
I have the right to live without fear of abuse, oppression or the threat of violence. I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. And I have the right to control my own life.
If you have left an abusive relationship: Change your phone number, and remind friends, family and your employer not to give it out.
• If you have to meet your partner, do so in a public place.
• Notify school and work contacts.
• Lack of Support—Domestic violence victims often lack support systems.
• Finances—As a result of the abuse, victims are often economically dependent on their abusers. This is particularly true for victims with children. Economic realities often trap victims in violent relationships.
• Children—Even after a separation, abusers continue to use children to maintain power and control over victims and inflict further harm.
• Fear—It is important that the domestic violence victims’ fears not be minimized. If a victim decides to leave an abusive relationship, safety planning should be conducted.
• Lack of Support—Domestic violence victims often lack support systems.
• Finances—As a result of the abuse, victims are often economically dependent on their abusers. This is particularly true for victims with children. Economic realities often trap victims in violent relationships.
• Children—Even after a separation, abusers continue to use children to maintain power and control over victims and inflict further harm.
• Promises of Reform—Abusers often promise the abuse will never happen again, they will seek assistance, and they will change.
• Screen your calls.
• Save and document all contacts, messages, or other incidents involving the abuser.
• Change locks if the abuser has a key.
• Screen your calls.
• Save and document all contacts, messages, or other incidents involving the abuser.
• Change locks if the abuser has a key.
What is Domestic Violence? Domestic violence is a range of behaviors used to establish power or exert control by one intimate partner over the other. The range of behaviors can include psychological, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, spiritual, and physical abuse, as well as stalking and threatening behaviors.
Who are abusers?
Like victims, domestic violence abusers come from all backgrounds. However, abusers do share some characteristics in that they tend to justify their abusive behaviors, fail to take responsibility for the abuse and use similar tactics to gain and maintain power and control over their partners.
Abusers typically present a different personality outside of their relationship than they do to their intimate partner, which complicates victims' ability to describe their experience and seek assistance.
Children Exposed to Domestic Violence
Children who witness or are exposed to domestic violence are at greater risk for a number of health and behavioral concerns. They are often present during abuse, and are physically injured as a result of domestic violence. People who abuse their partners are very likely to also abuse children in the home.
Types of Abuse
• Legal abuse – dragging out legal/custody proceedings
• Stalking – calling, harassing, leaving messages, unwanted e-mails and phone calls
• Economic abuse – harassing someone at work
Abuse may occur frequently or infrequently, but in most cases it tends to escalate over time. Without intervention, domestic violence generally increases, and can lead to serious injuries and death.
Barriers to Leaving Victims of domestic violence usually make repeated and sustained efforts to secure safety for themselves and their children, but many face barriers which impede their safety and security:
• Love for Partner or Spouse—Most people enter a relationship for love, and that emotion does not simply disappear easily or in the face of difficulty.
Does your partner:
• Continually criticize you?
• Put you down in front of other people, humiliate you
• Stop you from seeing or talking to friends or family, or limit your outside involvement?
• Make you afraid by using looks, actions, and gestures?
• Act like the abuse is no big deal, it's your fault, or even denies doing it?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be involved in a relationship that is abusive. If there is something about your relationship that scares you, seek help.
I have the right to live without fear of abuse, oppression or the threat of violence. I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. And I have the right to control my own life.
If you have left an abusive relationship: Change your phone number, and remind friends, family and your employer not to give it out.
• If you have to meet your partner, do so in a public place.
• Notify school and work contacts.
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