I Can't Protect Them From Him

Son came into my room Saturday evening and said, "Mom, ever since dad left you let us do anything we want. You're not as strict anymore. Why is that? Why now?"

I thought very carefully and replied, "When your dad was here I tried really hard to parent the way he wanted to because I thought it was important. Now I parent the way I want to."

He left the room smiling, my voice trailing after him, "I don't let you do whatever you want!", and I don't. 

Compared to the micromanaging and emotionally abusive blackmail I know goes on over there, it probably feels that way. 

Now I'm smiling because, though I know I can't protect them from him all the time, I know that when they walk through our door they physically and mentally relax, able to be completely themselves and know they are accepted and loved unconditionally.