I couldn't explain it well before, I thought. This could have come straight out of my psyche. Emotional manipulation is one of the biggest reasons I ended up getting divorced.
The thing was, there was so MUCH behavior I felt the need to call him on...so, so much. It made me emotionally mute. He had me thinking I was irrational and as a result, my self esteem plummeted and I was silenced. I let people all through my life walk all over me, including Son. It sent me/us to the therapist time and time again.
Ex still does it nearly every single time we talk about anything and I used to fall into his fucking trap every time, but not so much now. Probably because I don't engage him anymore. I deal with the business of Kids and move along, see you later, don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.
It's a trap I've never even been sure he knows he's setting. Is control so deep in his psyche that he thinks he's being completely fair and honest in it's execution?
Eventually I started getting out and meeting people that didn't do this to me, and the result is my happy life now.
Someday, in the future, I'd like my children to understand why, really, I upended their lives and mine. But only if they ask. For them and anyone else who asks, I leave this link to the article that states, clearly, what I could not.
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