One more post today:
Partner and I had a wonderful weekend, and had some quiet time to talk. I think I brought the subject up because I wanted to talk to him about how I felt.
I told Partner that I don't think I was ever, truly, poly. (I wrote about it here and here.) I shared with him that I thought I agreed with Ex to open our marriage and try Polyamory because I was searching for something I wasn't receiving in my marriage.
I was trying to fill the holes in my heart.
It's funny; often when I bring up things to share with Partner, he ends up telling me something that means the world to me. It's like a reward for sharing my thoughts with him.
He told me that he felt exactly the same way. That he doesn't think there would ever be that much room in his heart for someone else, because he loves me so much.
He said exactly what I felt. Then I melted.
I am over the moon in love with this man, and he reminds me why every day with his words and his actions.
To top it off, last night Partner came over after dinner and Kids and I were decompressing after eating together. He and I started playing a game together, sitting on the couch...then Daughter drifted into the room when her homework was finished, and snuggled next to me, then Son came out of his cave to hang out with us too, and ended up snuggling with us on the couch as well. Dogs were up in there too, with Bunny hopping around our feet happily. I looked over at Partner and he was sleepy and happy as I rubbed his feet in between turns in the game, Daughter kissing my cheek, Son showing us the game he was playing on his phone, and Bunny teasing and playing with ADHD Dog when he ventured down off the couch.
I have never been happier, and am succeeding in being present in the moment whenever I can.
What a blessing.
Thank you.
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