Couldn't get myself to work today. I decided not to go because I couldn't keep my eyes open long enough to get up. Kept falling asleep. Don't feel good. Sneezing and coughing and stuffy nose. I could have gone to work but headache and depression bogging me down too. I rarely stay home from work so I'm fighting guilt. I colored my hair again last night and am second guessing it, not being nice to myself. I'm going to be ok, I just need to sit here I guess and contemplate all these things and whether or not I should double my antidepressant to where doc said I should be. I'm only taking half of what was prescribed because that seems to work. I've been drinking alone lately too and need to think about why and stop again. I know it's self medicating and I need to cook something good for me and start exercising regularly again. I know how to take care of myself I've just not been doing it very well lately. I'll give myself today to be in a slump and then pull myself together tomorrow and go to work.
It's funny. I have all the sympathy in the world for people who suffer from depression, but when it's me I give myself time limits and rules.
Not so funny, actually, but interesting.
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